Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords coming to iPhone, iPod Touch

Just when you thought a game was everywhere, you learn that it still has one more front to conquer. I’m speaking, of course, of Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords. Previously, the puzzle/role playing game invaded cell phones, every major video game console (PS2, PS3, Wii and Xbox 360), every handheld system (DS and PSP) and computers (Mac and PC). Now, TransGaming Inc. has announced that it is adapting Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords for the iPhone and iPod Touch.

An actual launch date hasn’t been announced, but TransGaming is working with D3Publisher and hoping to have Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords up in the iTunes App Store before the end of Fall 2008. A price also hasn’t been set, and no rating has been assigned. Previous versions of the game were rated Everyone 10+, so the iPhone/iPod Touch version will probably carry a similar rating.

I tend to agree with Kotaku‘s take on this port - its unnecessary. When I first played Puzzle Quest on my DS, I loved it and wondered if it was even possible to play too much Puzzle Quest. Now I know that it has gone too far - Puzzle Quest is over-exposed. If there is someone out there who doesn’t have access to a cell phone, handheld or console system that is capable of playing Puzzle Quest, then this is great news. The rest of us will let out a resounding, “Meh.”

Read [Kotaku] Site [TransGaming Inc]

Preview of Tokyo Game Show 2008

If video gamers didn’t already have enough reason to want to travel to Japan, the Tokyo Game Show 2008 (TGS) is about to commence in just a matter of weeks and Gamertell will be there to tell you all about it.

Held in Chiba-city, Japan, TGS began 12 years ago and boasts a higher attendance than E3 ever did due to the fact that it allows the public access during its last two days or a measly 1200yen (approx. US$12) per day.

This year the show will run from October 9 to 12, 2008, with the first two days of the show being dedicated to industry personnel only. The second weekend of October 2008 will be game-on for all those lucky gamers who either already live in Japan or have enough money to fly out to Japan’s already bustling metropolis.

All of the big names in the video game industry are reported to be in attendance (including Capcom, Konami, Square Enix and Tecmo) with key note sessions including a panel discussion between Yoichi Wada (President and Representative Driector, Square Enix), Shin Unozawa (Chief Operating Officer, Namco Bandai Games) and Haruhiro Tsujimoto (President and Chief Operating Officer, Capcom).

If all the video game goodness of the main show isn’t enough, TGS will also be featuring three after-hour events this year:

• TGS International Party - October 10 at 5:15pm - This event is open to all attendees of the TGS 2008.
• Sense of Wonder Night 2008 - October 10 from 6:00pm to 8:00pm - This event’s objective to introduce game designs that are unconventional while emphasizing the importance of creating games that imbue players with a “sense of wonder”.
• GMT (Game, Music, TGS) 2008 - October 11 at 6:00pm - A special live show costing 3,500yen per ticket and featuring 6 artists who “all like video games.”

With video game bigwigs, booth babes, cosplayers, giveaways, and hands-on gaming, what more do you really need? There’s still time to buy that plane ticket to head on over to the land of the rising sun.

But, in case you cannot afford it, Gamertell will be sure to provide everyone with exclusive TGS 2008 updates including video, audio, and pictures that you won’t see anywhere else. Until then, jya, mata ne! (That’s “see you later").

Site [Tokyo Game Show 2008] Read [Gamertell]

Japanese Import: Tales of Hearts for DS

In the latest Tales installment, Tales of Hearts (ToH), a peaceful empire is terrorized by a monster that consumes everyone’s dreams and eats into people’s hearts. In order to protect itself from danger, people’s hearts (known as Spiria) create complex labyrinths known as Spir Mazes. Only those who possess the power of Soma are allowed entry into the depths of the Spir Mazes.

ToH will be released exclusively for the Nintendo DS on December 11, 2008, in Japan. There will be two versions of the game with one featuring cut scene anime produced by Production I.G. (Blood: The Last Vampire, Evangelion: Death and Rebirth, Ghost in the Shell). The other will feature CG produced by Shirogumi. This will be the first Tales to incorporate CG renderings of characters during FMVs (full motion videos).

Many unique elements come together in ToH to create an intricate battle system that includes a multitude of opportunities for customization. During battle, party members are limited to 3 but support characters can be utilized with the Combination Gauge in to perform a character combination attack called Connect Command. Characters in battle are able to perform any number of attacks, spells, or skills until an Emotional Gauge (EG) is completely depleted. Constant use of the EG results in increased attacks and increased damage while minimal use of the EG means a decrease in attacks and a decrease of damage incurred.

Weapons are called Soma in the world of ToH, and party members will gain new abilities known as Soma Skills when players effectively utilize the Soma Build tool to create and upgrade Soma. Soma Evolve occurs when a Soma takes a new pattern or form as the result of Soma Build. Another way important element of ToH is Soma Link. Soma Link is affected when multi-option interactions occur with another character within the game. Depending on the choice made, that character may gain points towards the Soma Link Value. Obtaining enough points equals obtaining new skills.

Within the complexities of the Spir Mazes there lie abundances of rare items and treasure to be discovered. Through the utilization of Soma, a player’s party will be able to enter someone’s heart through his/her mind, known as a Spir Link. Spir Links can be established during the main scenario with non-playable characters and for multi-player sessions as well.

If you’ve been able to endure that hefty vocabulary lesson then you’ll have no problem navigating a Japanese-to-English dictionary in order to play this import when it first hits the shelves.

Site [Tales of Heart] Read [Dark Diamond]

Not your proudest gaming moments

Oh, GamesRadar. You’ve outdone yourselves with the best list of embarrassing game moments. Aptly titled “Game moments you don’t want a loved one walking in on”, and completely hilarious, the list has everything from the smut-related (like catching Meryl in her undies in Metal Gear Solid to the tender-hearted (crying over killing a great beast in Shadow of the Colossus) to the utterly shameless (Killing crackheads in Condemned).

The rest of the list is basically sexual (lapdances in GTA IV, anyone?), but the best parts are the “suggested excuses” that go along with the highlighted moments.

Ok, I’ll list a few of my own. Due to TV issues at my apartment, I had to play Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (for Wii) at a friend’s house. I was frantically flailing my Lightsaber (as quietly as possible), but when I inadvertently woke her non-gamer roommate, I was met with a look of death that quickly turned to confusion and profound “WTF? Who does that?” until I had to hang my Wii-Mote in shame. Tragic, I know. Share your best embarrassed by a game moments in the comments!

Read [GamesRadar]

Playstation Store Update for the week of September 25 to October 1, 2008

This week’s soup de jour at the Playstation Store is undoubtedly Mega Man 9. It hearkens back to the good ol’ days of “Dr. Wily creates eight new robots to defeat Mega Man,” the way it should be. It’s likely pathetic but I’ve never felt envious over never being able to afford a current-gen console, given that the whole thing is a mess of either Bald Wars or Tales of Anorexia. And then along comes this faux 8-bit platformer which pretends time had stopped after 1990 and I’m suddenly frothing at the mouth.

Well, OK. I’m sure Wipeout HD is pretty cool too but it’s all for nothing until somebody brings back the Colony Wars games.

Is it can be list tiem plz?

Full Games
Mega Man 9 ($9.99)
Wipeout HD ($19.99)
Burnout Paradise ($29.99)
GEON Emotions ($9.99)

Demos
Mega Man 9
NBA 09: The Inside
NBA Live 09

Add-on Content
Rock Band songs: Rush’s Moving Pictures Album ($2 per song or $11 for the whole album), “Sorrow” by Bad Religion, “She Sells Sanctuary” by The Cult, “Banadges” by Hot Hot Heat, “Shoot the Runner” by Kasabian, “You’re No Rock N Roll Fun” by Sleater-Kinney and “Love Spreads” by Stone Roses ($2 each)
Buzz! QuizTV Question Packs: National Geographic ($7.99), Videogames ($5.99) and Sci-Fi ($5.99)
Soul Calibur IV Customization Equipment Pack 2 ($1.99)

Game Videos
PAIN Amusement Park New Characters Video
Resistance 2 Shattered History Video
Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway Eyes Only Trailer
Burnout Paradise Bikes Trailer
Dead Space Animated Comic #5
Tomb Rader: Underworld Gameplay Trailer

Movie/TV Trailers
88 Minutes Blu-ray Trailer
Made of Honor Blu-ray Trailer

Wallpapers & Themes
Soul Calibur IV Tira Witch and Voldo Jack-O-Lantern wallpapers
Buzz! QuizTV theme
Wipeout HD theme

Read [Playstation Blog]

Star Wars: Clone Wars on DVD, Blu-ray November 11, 2008

By now, most die-hard Star Wars fans are in two camps - those who loved the original trilogy and refuse to acknowledge that the prequels are canon; and those who worship at the alter of Lucas, the once indie young hotshot who has turned into the very soul-sucking corporation he sought to fight against in his early years (just watch THX 1138). Well, in any event, the latest Star Wars flick, titled Star Wars: The Clone Wars, is coming to DVD and Blu-ray on November 11, 2008.

The film, which is an animated feature and a sort of kick-off to an animated TV series, follows the adventures of legendary Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker (pre-Vader), Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda and the rest as they fight an epic battle against the dark forces in the Galaxy. All of this happens between Star Wars: Episode II and Episode III. The DVD (at least the 2-disc edition) and Blu-ray are packed with extra features including deleted scenes, a sneak peak at the upcoming animated series, webisodes, and all other sorts of trans-media, franchise-happy goodies. The asking price is $28.98 for the DVD or $34.99 for the two disc special edition. The Blu-ray will run you $35.99.

My feelings on the film? Stinky the Hutt. That’s all I’m going to say.

Site [Star Wars: Clone Wars] Read [WorstPreviews]

Gamertell Review: Shaun the Sheep for DS

Title: Shaun the Sheep
Price: $29.99
System(s): Nintendo DS
Release Date: September 23, 2008
Publisher (Developer): D3 Publisher (Art)
ESRB Rating: “Everyone” for Comic Mischief
Pros: Good game for kids. Mini-games are moderately challenging. A few nice extras. Decent graphics.
Cons: Mini-game graphics can be subpar at times. The story mode is a bit short.
Overall Score: One thumb up, one thumb sideways; 80/100; B-; *** out of 5

Shaun the Sheep is a children’s game based on the stop-motion animated series by Aardman Animations, the same people who brought us Wallace and Gromit. (Shaun first appeared in the Wallace and Gromit movie A Close Shave). The original series follows Shaun, a smart little sheep, engaging in short, seven minute, silent comedic episodes on a farm.

The game stays true to the original formula and, as such, perfectly reaches its target audience. It is a simple yet engaging adventure that children will likely enjoy. It possesses all the characters from the series and cute little mini-games. In fact, you can think of Shaun the Sheep as My First Point-and-Click Adventure.

Shaun the Sheepherder

The game begins with the Farmer leaving the farm for the day. Shaun and Bitzer the dog are talking when all of the sheep suddenly escape. Shaun has to find all 13 missing sheep before the Farmer gets back so Bitzer won’t get in trouble. (He also can help Mother Hen find all 12 of her chicks.)

Shaun’ll have to find items to get past seemingly impossible obstacles, team up with found sheep, conquer mini-games and search everywhere to find the rest of the flock. He’ll have to be careful though, because Naughty Pigs, Pidsley and Mole are all around to make things difficult for him.

Not Baad for a Kid’s Game

Shaun the Sheep succeeds at introducing young gamers to the point-and-click gaming genre while including in a few cute mini-games to break up potential monotony. The main story is just challenging enough to get kids interested but provides plenty of hints so kids won’t get lost. If things seem unclear, a visit to Bitzer or the barn will clear things up. Or, Mower Mouth will suddenly show up to unlock a new area for Shaun to search in.

The graphics range from surprisingly good to shovelware bad. The graphics for the story mode of the game, where you’re Shaun exploring the farm, for example, are quite good. The characters look almost exactly like their Aardman Animations counterparts, and everything moves smoothly. The same can’t be said for some of the mini-games (specifically the ones where Shaun rolls a ball of yarn, jumps on a trampoline to reach little Timmy or plays guitar). These often use static, stock images from the Shaun the Sheep animated series and recycle them for the games. It’s disappointing.

It also is a bit short but that might not be a bad thing in this case. Shaun the Sheep‘s target audience are clearly young children and, if the game were too long or complicated, it might frustrate them or turn them off. So it’s short for people over the age of eight but perfect for those who are younger.

Remember, It’s for Kids

You can’t go in to Shaun the Sheep expecting an adventure and challenge like one found in, say, Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Awesome People>. This isn’t a point-and-click adventure for adults, it is one for kids. And it succeeds at what it tries to do - it makes the genre more accessible for younger gamers.

Shaun the Sheep is cute, and a great game for a beginning gamer.

Site [Shaun the Sheep the game]

Nintendo debuts PInk Ribbon DS Lite

Its always nice to see a corporation that’s swimming in money give to a worthy cause - and Nintendo has done just that. 1Up is reporting that the company released a new DS model - a pink ribbon version that retails for the usual $129.99, but $5 on each purchase will go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure - a foundation that supports breast cancer research and helps sufferers and survivors alike. The best part - even if the new SKU doesn’t sell, the big N has promised to donate at least $100,000 for the cause.

Aw, now isn’t that socially responsible? Nintendo may not be the most environmentally aware company in the world, but this is certainly a nice gesture.

Read [1Up] Also Read [Susan G. Komen for the Cure]

Gamer girls in the Philippines

It’s always cool to see the “girl gamers” angle taken from another approach. The Philippine Daily Inquirer has a very cool piece on gamer girls. It’s a profile of six female gamers, each with totally different taste in games - you have your RPG fans, Sims addicts, FPS players, etc. Each girl is asked a few quick questions, like “What was the first video game you remember playing?” and “Do you find yourself wishing there were more well-rounded female characters in video games?”, so it’s not exactly in-depth, but it’s a fun little slice of life piece.

See? Girls play games everywhere. So when can we put this subject to bed?

Read [The Philippine Daily Inquirer]

Weekend Deal: Rockstar Collection for $29.99 on Steam

Steam has good offer going on for the weekend starting yesterday (September 26, 2008) for some of Rockstar Games’ best titles.

For $29.99 you can get your hands on such classic titles including the original Grand Theft Auto and Max Payne. Buying the collection will save you a little less than $10 as opposed to buying them all individually.

This could be a good time to stay up all night all discover what all the fuss over the new Max Payne movie is all about and rekindle your nostalgia with bullet time all at once. Trust me once you play Manhunt in the dark there is no sleeping after that.

The following is a list of every game in the Rockstar Collection:

• Grand Theft Auto
• Grand Theft Auto 2
• Grand Theft Auto 3
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
• Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
• Manhunt
• Max Payne
• Max Payne 2
• Midnight Club 2
• Wild Metal

Purchase [Steam] Read [Game Daily]

Beer Bounce for $0.99 (hic) for iPhone, iPod Touch (hic)

Earlier in September 2008, Publisher X risked facing the wrath from all the do gooders in the world by releasing Beer Bounce on the App Store for use on the iPhone and iPod Touch. The game has a simple premise involving bouncing many types of coin currency into a beer mug.

If that sounds like something you do every Friday night, you might want to hold on to a few of those coins because Beer Bounce is now available for the special promotion price of $0.99.

The promotion started yesterday (September 26, 2008) but Publisher X has not stated when the deal will expire. To purchase, just stumble on over to the Apple App Store and start downloading.

The majority of user reviews seem to be favorable especially for a game that costs less than a tall one.

Purchase [Apple App Store] Read [IGN]

Guitar Hero might be the worst thing that’s happened to video games since Uwe Boll

Are you a really big Guitar Hero fan? Well, you may not agree with Tom Conton’s assertion that ”Guitar Hero might be the worst thing that’s happened to video games since Uwe Boll” but you can’t deny his argument - that the juggernaut of rhythm/music games played with plastic instruments has become a creativity-killing cash cow.

It’s not Guitar Hero that he has a beef with, it’s all the me-too copy cats that come along with something that becomes a massive success. And I think he’s right. While I do think music games are changing the landscape of the stumbling music industry (artists releasing new albums via games, new licensing procedures, etc.), they are getting horribly “same-y” aren’t they? When the first game came out in 2005, it was so creative and fun and new - and now there are what, 2000 GH SKU’s and countless imitators?

I’m going to join Conton and bemoan this (admittedly inevitable - you know, business being business) sort of trend. Give me creativity, give me variety, or give me a new hobby! Who’s with me?

Read [Pop Sci]

Emergency Room: Real Life Rescues for DS

Attention wannabe ER doctors and budding Paramedics - Legacy Interactive has just shared some new assets from their upcoming DS game Emergency Room: Real Life Rescues. It looks to be much more focused on emergency rescue than actual surgery, so don’t call it a Trauma Center clone. Also - it’s looking much more serious and simulation oriented.

As an emergency medical technician (yes, really) I’m pretty impressed with the assets so far - the procedures (using a stethoscope, inserting an airway) shown look more or less realistic and do reflect the motions a rescuer would use in a real emergency situation. Legacy Interactive is promising gore - so there better be more gore in the next batch of screens. Either way, the game is due out in Q1 2009, and it will be rated E, so even the youngest medical hopeful can enjoy it.

Read [Pocket Gamer]

Dark Knight coming to home video December 9, 2008

While I’m in a BatMood, Waner Home Video today (September 26, 2008) announced that Dark Knight will be available on Blu-Ray and DVD on December 9, 2008.

The movie was directed by Christopher Nolan and stars Christian Bale as Batman and Bruce Wayne and Heath Ledger as The Joker. Also in the movie are Morgan Freeman,, Michael Cane, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Since Dark Knight was partially shot using IMAX cameras, the Blu-Ray release will include IMAX and regular ol’ HD footage. Warner is going whole hog with the Blu-Ray and including BD-Live features which, according to the press release, “allows users with web-enabled Blu-ray players to access exciting additional content and connect and share with other BD-Live users.”

The single-disc DVD version of Dark Knight will be available for US$28.98 in widescreen and full-screen. The 2-Disc Special Edition DVD (widescreen) will be $34.99 and the Blu-ray will for $35.99. The film is rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence and some menace) and runs 153 minutes (2 hours and 33 minutes).

Here are all the promised features and extras:

2-Disc Special Edition:

• Gotham Uncovered – How Christopher Nolan and his team developed the new Bat-suit and Bat-pod and composer Hans Zimmer musically characterized The Joker’s reign of chaos.
• The Dark Knight IMAX Scenes - View these 6 action-packed sequences - shot on the largest format possible - in their original IMAX framing, just as they were intended
• Gotham Tonight - 6 episodes of Gotham Cable’s premier news program
• The Galleries: Poster art and production stills
• Digital Copy of the Feature Film

Blu-ray Disc:
Disc 1 – Movie with Focus Points

• Gotham Uncovered: Creation of a Scene – Director Christopher Nolan and creative collaborators unmask the incredible detail and planning behind the film, including stunt staging, filming in IMAX®, and the new Bat-suit and Bat-pod.

Disc 2 – Special Features

• Batman Tech – The incredible gadgets and tools (in HD)
• Batman Unmasked: The Psychology of The Dark Knight – Delve into the psyche of Bruce Wayne and the world of Batman through real-world psychotherapy (in HD)
• Gotham Tonight – 6 episodes of Gotham Cable’s premier news program
• The Galleries – The Joker cards, concept art, poster art, production stills, trailers and TV spots
• Digital Copy of the Feature Film

Lego Batman Happy Meal toys promote cheating in videogames

For those of you who indulge in the delicacies of fatty snacks that come in a colorful box and an accompanying toy, the recent McDonald’s Happy Meals are promoting Lego Batman: The Videogame and a game code has been stamped on the bottom of each toy.

There are eight toys in the set including four vehicles and four characters. Each game code unlocks playable characters so you don’t have to wait until later in the game to cash in precious (and readily available) Lego pegs for the same character. Since the instructions don’t indicate the codes are only good on certain versions, go ahead and try them on whichever one you got.

I don’t usually do this but, since GoNintendo has already started the sharing, I’ll offer up two more codes:

• Batmobile - MAC788
• Penguin Sub - BJH782

The Lego Batman toys are considered to the the “boy” toys of the month with Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz toys the “girl” toys. If you are lucky enough to get the Happy Meal box, 2 panels picture Lego Batman stuff and two panels picture the mini dolls. On the Batman side, you can punch out the perforated Bat Signal and villain panels to practice your BatNinjaStar tossing skills.

I have only those two toys so far but now I want them all. And not just for the codes. I’m just that much of a geek about kid’s meal toys.

If you have codes, go ahead and post ‘em below for all to enjoy and save the $2+ on each Happy Meal.

Read [GoNintendo] Site [HappyMeal] Also Read [Aeropause]

Banjo Kazooie on Xbox Live looking nice in high-res

If you missed my previous post about how Nintendo 64 classic Banjo-Kazooie is due out on the Xbox Live Arcade (XBLA) on November 26, you may not care much for the adventure starring a goofy bear and a sassy bird. Well, you’re crazy, because the game looks amazing - CVG reported that the already gorgeous N64 graphics have been upgraded, so the game is reportedly running beautifully in high resolution. Plus, it features a “stop n’ swap” - famous for its underutilization in the game’s sequel, Banjo-Tooie - as a means of opening secrets in the upcoming Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts on the Xbox 360.

So, if you read that previous post, you already know the game is one of my all time favorites. I don’t understand all the Rare hate that’s been buzzing around lately - this game is 100% awesome, and a misstep or two (ahem, Grabbed by Ghoulies) is no reason to doubt the developer’s talent.

Read [CVG] Also Read [gamertell]

Young girls “migrating” towards gaming

Move over, obnoxious female gamer stereotypes. It seems that young girls are taking up gaming at increasing rates, potentially leading to a more gender equal future among hardcore gamers (or so I hope). GameDaily recently posted an item about this “migration” of young girls to computer/videogames, as reported by the NPD group (you know, the people who give us legit, fanboy-exciting sales umbears each month).

According to the study, Very young girls (2-5) are happy with traditional toys, but around 6-8 they begin taking an interest in more interactive activities, and by 9-12, they’re very interested in virtual worlds, online spaces, and all sorts of videogames.

Of course, back when I was a 6-8 year old girl, you couldn’t tear me away from my NES. Ah, the halcyon days of youth…

Read [GameDaily]

40GB PS3 price dropping to $360 September 28, 2008, at Blockbuster

Sony has been quite adamant about not dropping the price of any PS3 model in response to Microsoft’s recent price cut. It’s up for debate whether or not this is a smart move on Sony’s part but for now we can rest easy that Blockbuster will in fact be implementing a price drop of its own effective this Sunday (September 28, 2008).

According to a leaked memo on Kotaku, the 40GB PS3 will sell for $360 along with a $400 bundle that includes an HDMI cable, Spider-Man on Blu-ray, and Transformers: The Game.

This drop in price is probably due to Blockbuster wanting to clean out its inventory of the now discontinued 40GB PS3 to make room for the 160GB model that will be available in November 2008.

If you or anyone you may know is thinking about going for this deal, you should note the all the features the 40GB model does and does not have. This model does not support backwards compatibility with PS2 games or flash card readers. It does, however, have built-in Wi-Fi and two USB ports.

Besides those things you’ll have no problems playing online and you can always pick up a larger hard drive if you need it one day.

Read [Kotaku] Also Read [Snagwire Media]

Jack Thompson permanently disbarred

Dogs and cats are living together. Rainbows are everywhere. Jack Thompson has been permanently disbarred.

The Florida lawyer, who is best known to gamers as that dern lawyer who keeps hatin’ on our fun, was disbarred yesterday (September 25, 2008) by the Supreme Court of Florida. The disbarment begins 30 days from yesterday so he can close out his practice, so expect some last-minute antics if not long-term appeals (which needs to be submitted by a lawyer in good standing with the Florida Bar - good luck). He’s also to pay $43,675 in Florida Bar fees.

Thompson sent Kotaku a copy of an emergency motion he filed with the court and a press release that states that he believes, according to Kotaku, that the “disbarment is in retaliation for, among other things, Thompson’s Tyndale House book Out of Harm’s Way which he says blew the whistle on what he describes as the Florida Supreme Court’s attack on his activism against the American entertainment industry.”

Kotaku also reports that Thompson’s emails ended with the phrase “this should be fun, starting now.” I’m guessing that “fun” will also be pretty expensive and make a few headlines.

Read [CNet] Via [Kotaku] Also Read [GameDaily]

Important Importables: Club Nintendo

A wonderful program exists outside of North America for people who purchase Nintendo products - Club Nintendo. Club Nintendo is a special program to reward people who purchase games for Nintendo systems.

In regions that have Club Nintendo programs set up (Japan, Europe, South Africa and Australia), games for Nintendo systems come with either a small slip of paper or a card with a numerical code on there. If you register that code with the program, you receive points known as stars. You can then trade those in for items.

Sadly, this program is not offered in North America and there are no plans to start a program like it here. To make matters worse, you can’t redeem points from import games. So if you’ve imported DS games and have a stack of slips (ahem) collected, you can’t redeem them. Only people who live in that region can participate in that Club Nintendo program.

Since the Club Nintendo premiums are often incredibly cool and collectible, it is still nice to dream about them. Besides, if you look sharp on eBay, or visit online stores, you may still be able to purchase some of the Club Nintendo items.

Club Nintendo Japan

Japan’s Club Nintendo program is usually the one most talked about. As the first and primary program, it tends to receive the best reward items. To get points, people purchase Japanese games for the Nintendo DS or Wii. They then register the points at the Club Nintendo Japan site.

Club Nintendo Japan has the best prizes. There are video game soundtracks, wiimotes which can also act as a television remote, Famicom style Wii Classic Controllers, statues, ringtones, cute pouches, clothing, toys and DS games. There are also computer wallpapers for a few stars, in case you have a small number of leftover points. Most items cost between 100 and 500 stars.

The DS titles tend to get the most attention, and go the quickest. So far Tingle’s Balloon Fight, Exclamation Warriors Sakeburein, Game & Watch Collection and Game & Watch Collection 2 have been released, each usually costing around 500 stars. Luckily, Play-Asia will occasionally sell used copies of these games, so collectors can check that site to try and find these rare DS games.

Club Nintendo Europe

Club Nintendo Europe was the second program launched, and as such is the second biggest program. It doesn’t have special edition games, like the Japanese program, but it still has many special items - some that can also be found in the Club Nintendo Japan catalogue, and some that are exclusive to European members. It was originally called Nintendo VIP 24:7, but Nintendo decided to change the name to the more familiar “Club Nintendo” after the Wii launched.

It functions in the exact same way as Club Nintendo Japan. Registering systems and games earns you points, which can be spent on items. Club Nintendo Europe has no games, but Wii points, clothing, toys, statues, bags, key rings, stationary items, system accessories and computer wallpapers are all available items. They’re a bit more expensive, star-wise, than Japanese items. Items can cost upwards of 1000 points.

Club Nintendo in other regions

So far, two other Club Nintendo programs have been opened. There are Club Nintendo Australia and Club Nintendo South Africa programs. Neither one is especially prolific yet. You can register purchased games, or spend stars on wallpapers for your computers, but that’s it.

COMING NEXT WEEK: Important Portables talks about Square Enix Members at home and abroad. If you don’t miss a single installment of Important Importables, or want to know right away when the next column is up, then sign up for the Gamertell Newsletter and RSS feed.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Last week Important Importables listed some places to see in Akihabara.

Site [Club Nintendo Japan] Site [Club Nintendo Europe] Site [Club Nintendo Australia] Site [Club Nintendo South Africa] Site [Play-Asia]

gamertell nokia n-gage mile high pinball logo Title: Mile High Pinball Price: $9.49 ($2.99 for 1 day, $6.99 for 7 days) System(s): N-Ga

Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People: Strongbadia the Free: Telltale Games
Price: $8.95 PC, $10 Wii (via WiiWare)
System(s): *PC, Wii
Release Date: September 15, 2008
Publisher (Developer): Telltale Games
ESRB Rating: E+10"Everyone 10+" for crude humor and comic mischief
Pros: Very funny, fun game play, logical puzzles.
Cons: Not enough mini games, insane rating system, short game play.
Overall Score: Two thumbs up; 95/100; A; * * * * 1/2 out of five

It’s time for the second installment of Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People: Strongbadia the Free. In this game you play as Strong Bad who was put under house arrest after the King of Town went power crazy an invented several new tax laws that Strong Bad has yet to pay.

He quickly gets out of that predicament and decides to rebel against the King of Town by creating his own realm, Strongbadia, hoping that everyone will join and overthrow the king. Instead, everyone else in town decides to make their own realms so now he has to perform various tasks to convince everyone to join his. The realms are all relate to the character, “Marizistar”, “Pompomerania”, and my favorite, Bubs’ “Concessionstantnople.”

Separate Yet Equal

Strongbadia is the same in game play as Homestar Ruiner with many of the same elements and some slight tweaks. For example, you still use the Metal Detector to find items but, this time, it is needed for finding important items in the game, not just extras. Also you can still make Teen Girl Squad but it’s converted to cave paintings.

There is also a new Videlectrix game called "Math Kickers” which is a Double Dragon type game where you have to solve math problems while you play, an “edu-suck-ical fist-fest” according to Strong Bad. Also, "Math Kickers" is way more fun than the "Snake Boxer" game from Homestar Ruiner "Math Kickers" has much more variety, including different moves. I mean, what’s not fun about fighting large complicated math problem by kicking them?

It still has the same sarcastic humor and logical puzzles as it’s previous episode. In fact you feel as if you are just playing a continuance of the first game, which is how it should be. This game seems a bit longer to me which is good since Homestar Ruiner ended too quickly.

Part of the game's length is because it is set up in three parts. The first is to get out of house arrest (get out of your house). The second is to get everyone to join your realm and the third is, after you inevitably overthrow the King, to get out of power once you realize how boring it is. The other game had two parts but the first seemed to end so soon that it felt like a set up to an actual game.

Change Would be Good

One thing that disappoints me is that they haven’t changed any of the things I didn’t like about the other game. (Gee, didn’t they read my review of the first game?) First of all, their still aren’t enough mini-games. In fact I think there are less. Also, once again, you can find all the hidden items during game play, which leaves little to do after you complete the game.

The point system is exactly the same, which means it’s still hard (dare I say impossible) to figure out when you are about to level up, or what you even have to DO to level up. To me it seems like a random occurrence. Now maybe it’s not random, maybe there is a way to measure it, but that just proves me point about how hard it is to figure out.

And why can’t we do more with Strong Bad’s computer? All you can do is read and delete his emails. If you are playing on the Wii, at least you can email your friends' Wiis but they won’t let you send emails on the computer version which completely baffles me. I would love to see a mini game on there, perhaps you can play a game where you read his emails, and try to pick (multiple choice or matching) the correct way he would answer it. Just an idea.

One other minor thing that bothered me is when you are searching with your metal detector. In Homestar, if there was nothing in the area, he would tell you not to bother looking. In this game, even if there is nothing around (or you already found an item) you can still search in the area. So it leaves you on a wild goose chase trying to find something when there may be nothing!

Homestar is Still Yay!

Well once again, despite my whining, I loved Strongbadia the Free. It has a longer feel to it, it still has that same charm and humor that I loved in Homestar Ruiner and it’s basically fun. It’s worth playing the game just for the realms the characters come up with. They are hilarious and really give you in inside to each character. Too bad we never get to see Coach Z’s.

I’m anxious to pay the next episode of the game, which is due out sometime October 2008.

Site [Telltale Games] Read [Gamespot] Also Read [Gamertell]

Gamertell Review: Mile High Pinball for N-Gage

Title: Mile High Pinball
Price: $9.49 ($2.99 for 1 day, $6.99 for 7 days)
System(s): N-Gage
Release Date: May 5, 2008
Publisher (Developer): Nokia (Ideaworks3D)
ESRB Rating: “Everyone”
Pros: Nearly endless pinball action. Great sound effects and pretty decent bumper action. Good pinball-on-the-go game.
Cons: Some boards feel too congested while others have too few but annoying features. Ranked game only as good as your wireless connection.
Overall Score: One thumb up, one thumb sideways; 84/100; B; * * * out of five.

Pinball wizards never want a game to end. The idea is to keep the ball in motion as long as you can to rack up points in a seemingly endless bout of bouncing ball action on a single board. It’s truly man versus machine.

Developed by Ideaworks3D, Mile High Pinball takes that idea to a new extreme offering a tall stack of boards for wannabe wizards to conquer with their thumbs and often, but not always, overcoming the obstacles of a cell phone screen.

Bouncy Bouncy

For the N-Gage rendition of Mile High Pinball, the object is to progress up through more than 45 boards stacked on top of each other while scoring as many points as possible. Each board is two screens high (except for some bonus boards that re only one screen) and, as you cross to the second half, the view slides to that section of the board. Exit through the top or bottom and you leave that board and enter the next.

Boards include the usual pinball game bumpers, spinners and secret areas as well as moving opponents that must be hit multiple times to be defeated. There are also some powerups that allow you to multiply your balls, points, earnings (which can be cashed in at the power up store) and damage, as well as more videogame powerups that turn the ball into a super bouncer, missile, helium balloon and other sometimes useful tricks including slow motion, frozen opponents and warping back to the previous area.

A Ranked game accesses the N-Gage Arena to log your score and you can also compete against other gamers in various head-to-head matches. The Practice mode lets you play offline.

Fun, Fun, Fu-Disconnected

As a basic pinball game, this is very fun. The boards are usually pretty interesting with detailed, sometimes moving backrounds. Flipper placement changes with each board except for at least one flipper (often many more) at the bottom of the screen to allow you to try and prevent a ball from falling to a lower level.

The screen size does mean that boards are disproportionately tall and, when more than a few objects are on the screen, things can get pretty crowded and confusing. Usually that means easy points but it can also mean some frustrating backtracking to the lower level when you repeatedly are unable to line up the perfect bump to move up the board. It’s really only an issue for a few levels but it means you’ll be on those boards much longer than the others.

Powerups are sometimes useful, especially the Instant Store where you can sell off the useless powerups filling your inventory, allowing you to buy sometime a bit more rewarding. A few, like floating up and the missile that shoots you straight up require the ideal board and precise timing to work. That means they’ll usually go unused unless you like a lot of trial and error.

The Practice game does not show any type of score, only the height of the ball, so there’s no scored single-player offline mode. That puts a lot of emphasis on online play, which seems a bit odd for a cell phone that can only be used by one person.

Also, if you don’t want to pay for pricey web connectivity for your phone, you’ll have to connect via wireless Wi-Fi. Then your online game is only as steady as your internet connection so, if you have a setup or firewall that can cause even tiny drops in connectivity, your game will instantly stop. It is pretty frustrating although it does save your ball’s exact position (and powerup) and resume it when you reconnect, unpause and get back into the game.

I did try to play against other gamers online but there wasn;t anyone to play with (sounds like a sad school yard).

Join the Mile High Club

If you dig pinball and have an N-Gage capable phone, you’ll certainly get many, many hours of flipping fun Mile High Pinball. The best part of the game is that, if you use a bit of backtracking, you can exploit bonus areas and powerups to rack up points all day long. I’ve been sporadically playing the same game for about four days.

At worst you’ll have to find a quick way out of a few boring boards and trade out useless powerups. All in all, that ain’t so bad for a take everywhere pinball game.

Product Page [Mile High Pinball]

Ten Achievements, Playlist Ratings added to Halo 3

Bungie has finally announced additional Achievements that are being added to Halo 3 as well as several other upgrades.

According to the announcement, the ten Achievements are part of the “Title Update 2” (aka TU2) which, putting an end to many rumors, is “not ushering in a new ‘BR spread,’ nor does it incorporate enemy AI and campaign components to the Forge map editor.” The other major addition is the “Playlist Ratings” which are “the playlist-level decoupling of Trueskill values (the in-game number next to your name) from Experience (the icon next to your name).” They also assure gamers that the Trueskill values are not being reset.

Smaller additions include some unnamed backed fixes, improved cheating prevention, “devastating powers being applied to our Banhammer” and additional statistics reporting.

The Achievements, listed below, were specifically listed by Bungie but at least one yet-to-be-named Achievement more was strongly hinted at:

There is… Another. You may have already heard about more or perhaps you have even seen more Halo 3 achievements than the ten listed above. We’re not ready to comment on any other achievements right now – all will become clear in due time. Stay tuned.

Here’s the list of new Halo 3 Achievements:

• Vidmaster Challenge: Lightswitch (0 points) – You can start on this one now. Get to the rank of Lieutenant in any playlist in the new EXP progression system.
• Vidmaster Challenge: 7 on 7 (0 points) – Begins October 7, 2008. Enter into any ranked or social playlist with 7 EXP on the 7th of the month.
• Vidmaster Challenge: Annual (0 points) – After September 25, 2008, complete Halo on 4-player Legendary Live co-op, with Iron, and everyone in Ghosts.
• Double Double (25 points) – On a Legendary map, get two Double Kills during any ranked or social match.
• Poor Yorick (25 points) – On a Legendary map, get 3 Oddball melee kills during any ranked or social match.
• Came…From…Behind (50 points) – On a Legendary map, get 3 assassinations during any ranked or social match.
• Defend This (50 points) – On a Legendary map, get a flag melee kill during any ranked or social match.
• Flag Dropped (25 points) – On a Legendary map, get 2 flag carrier kills during any ranked or social match.
• Road Rage (25 points) – On a Legendary map, get 5 Warthog chaingun kills during any ranked or social match.
• Look Both Ways (50 points) – On a Legendary map, get a Splatter Spree during any ranked or social match.

Note that the “Vidmaster Challenge” Achievements do not earn any points although. Bungie did promise that there will be a reward. “We’re not going to spoil the fun just yet but suffice it to say that gamerscore isn’t everything. There is a pot of gold at the end of the Vidmaster rainbow and it is something you will want. More details later.”

For Halomaniacs who cannot get enough, rest assured. Bungie ended the announcement with “It’s been a hell of a first year and we’re definitely not done with Halo 3 yet.” If rumors are true, gamers can look forward to 20 more Achievements.

Read [Bungie] Via [GameDaily] Also Read [Gamertell] Also Read [Gamernode]

Cooking Mama gets her green thumb on

Does playing Cooking Mama make you hungry for more? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. 1Up has an item announcing that the awesome cooking franchise will expand to include gardening. The DS title is slated for release this winter in Japan, but given the popularity of the Cooking Mama games here in the US, a western release is likely. True to its Mama roots, the game is set to be a string of task-related minigames, only this time around, you’re out of the kitchen. 1Up also reports that some sort of Wi-fi support is expected as well.

I suppose if you can’t wait to grow a pretty garden on your DS, you could try the excellent Viva Pinata: Pocket Paradise. Otherwise, stay tuned for an official US release confirmation and date.

Listen up! Ten voice actors every gamer should recognize

While gamers all enjoy video games with voice acting, they often tend to also take for granted the people behind the voices. As gamers progress from one game to the next, they may notice some similarity when it comes to characters’ voices, but they may not make the connection between, say, Yukari from Persona 3 and Sophia from Star Ocean: Till the End of Time.

It probably isn’t often gamers actually read the closing credits, search instruction books or take to the internet to discover who voiced their favorite characters. Many times, the voice actor for a character isn’t even credited or listed, so people might just think someone sounds familiar, but not bother to confirm it.

Gamertell has compiled a list of 10 prolific, famous and noteworthy voice actors who have lent their talents to video games. Not all of the games that the following actors have appeared in will be mentioned, just a few of the more famous entries as well as significant roles in TV series.

1. Michelle Ruff

In games she provided the voice for Atelier Iris 2: The Azoth of Destiny‘s Viese Blanchimont, Baroque‘s Alice, Bleach: The Blade of Fate and Shattered Blade‘s Rukia Kuchiki, Disgaea 2‘s Etna, Persona 3‘s Yukari Takeba, Odin Sphere‘s Velvet, Star Ocean: Till the End of Time‘s Sophia Esteed, Tales of Vesperia‘s Rita Mordio, Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria‘s Alicia and Wild ARMs 5‘s Avril Vent Fleur.

She also does anime voice acting, and has voiced Bleach‘s Rukia Kuchiki, Blue Dragon‘s Kluke, Chobit‘s Chi and Freya, Disgaea‘s Etna and Lupin the 3rd‘s Fujiko Mine.

2. James Arnold Taylor

In games he provided the voice for Final Fantasy X‘s Tidus, FFX-2‘s Tidus and Shuyin, Kingdom Hearts II‘s Jack Sparrow and Timon, Ratchet in almost every Ratchet & Clank game, Speed Racer‘s Jack “Cannonball” Taylor, Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror and Logan’s Shadow‘s Gabe Logan, and Tales of Symphonia‘s Lord Yggdrasill.

He also does cartoon and anime voice acting, and has voiced: The Boondock‘s Officer Frank, Drawn Together‘s Wooldoor Sockbat, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind‘s Muzu, Star Wars: The Clone Wars‘ Obi-Wan Kenobi and Static Shock‘s Eddie Felson.

3. Paula Tiso

In games she provided the voice for: Atelier Iris‘s Vier, Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed‘s Mindy Peters, Disgaea‘s Jennifer, Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem‘s Chandra, Final Fantasy X & X-2‘s Lulu, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots‘s Laughing Octopus and No More Heroes‘ Sylvia Christel.

4. Derek Stephen Prince
In games he provided the voice for: Assassin’s Creed‘s Majd Addin, Bleach: The Blade of Fate and Shattered Blade‘s Uryu Ishida, Shino Aburame in almost every Naruto game, Odin Sphere‘s Oswald, Persona 3‘s Takaya, Radiata Stories‘s Cross Ward, Trauma Center: New Blood‘s Vakhusti and Xenosaga I‘s Chaos.

He also does anime voice acting, and has voiced: Arc the Lad‘s Gene, Bleach‘s Uryu Ishida, Love Hina‘s Keitaro Urashima, Naruto‘s Shino Aburame and Paradise Kiss‘ Arashi.

5. Tara Strong

In games she provided the voice for: Blue Dragon‘s Kluke, Final Fantasy X & X-2‘s Rikku, Jak 3‘s Keira, Killer 7‘s Kaede Smith, Ninja Gaidan & Ninja Gaidan Sigma‘s Rachel, Bubbles in most Powerpuff Girls games, Psychonaut‘s Sheegor, Talwyn in both Ratchet & Clank Future games, Tales of Legendia‘s Norma Beatty and Tales of Symphonia‘s Presea Combatir.

She also does anime and cartoon voice acting, and has voiced: Ben 10‘s Ben Tennyson, Drawn Together‘s Princess Clara and Toot Braunstein, Fairly Oddparents‘s Timmy Turner, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends‘s Terrence and Powerpuff Girls‘s Bubbles.

6. Jamieson Price

In games he provided the voice for: Bleach: The Blade of Fate and Shattered Blade‘s Yasutora “Chad” Sado, Castlevania: Lament of Innocence‘s Walter Bernhard, Clive Barker’s Jericho‘s Xavier Jones, Disgaea‘s Seraph Lamington, Eternal Sonata‘s Legato, Radiata Stories‘s Gawain Rothschild, Rogue Galaxy‘s Narrator, Shadow Hearts: Covenant‘s Masaji Kato, Suikoden V‘s Georg Prime, Tales of Vesperia‘s Duke and Wild ARMs 6‘s Nightburn Acklund.

He also does anime voice acting, and has voiced: Bleach‘s Yasutora “Chad” Sado and Fate/stay Night‘s Kirei Kotomine.

7. Stephanie Sheh

In games she provided the voice for: Atelier Iris 3: Grand Phantasm‘s Nell Ellis, Bleach: The Blade of Fate and Shattered Blade‘s Orihime Inoue, Disgaea 2‘s Hanako, Eternal Sonata‘s Princess Serenade, Grandia III‘s Alfina de Palma, Mana Khemia‘s Nicole Mimi Tithel, Hinata Hyuga in most of the Naruto games, Odin Sphere‘s Mercedes, Persona 3‘s Metis, Radiata Stories‘ Ridley Silverlake, Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles‘ Rebecca Chambers and Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria‘s Silmeria.

She also does anime voice acting, and has voiced: Bleach‘s Orihime Inoue, FLCL‘s Mamimi, Tales of Phantasia‘s Arche Klein and Tenjo Tenge‘s Aya Natsume.

8. Crispin Freeman

In games he provided the voice for: Balmung for most of the .hack// games, Atelier Iris‘ Delsus, Crisis Core: FFVII‘s Rude and Kunsel, Death by Degrees‘ Alan Smithee, Kingdom Hearts II‘s Setzer Gabbiani and Will Turner, Makai Kingdom‘s Overlord Zetta, Itachi Uchiha in many Naruto games, Nano Breaker‘s Jake Warren, Phantom Brave‘s Raphael, Rogue Galaxy‘s Gale Dorban/Jaus, Star Ocean: Till the End of Time‘s Albel Nox, Tales of Symphonia‘s Regal Bryant, Too Human‘s Baldur, Albedo and Gaigun Kukai in every Xenosaga game.

He also does anime voice acting, and has voiced: .hack//SIGN‘s Balmung, Chobits‘s Hideki Motosuwa, FFVII Advent Children‘s Rude, Ghost in the Shell‘s Togusa, Hellsing‘s Alucard, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya‘s Kyon, Naruto‘s Itachi Uchiha and Ebisu, Revolutionary Girl Utena‘s Touga Kiryuu and Slayers‘ Zelgadis Greywords.

9. Wendee Lee

In games she provided the voice for: Black Rose in every .hack// game, Ar Tonelico‘s Claire Branch, Atelier Iris‘ Lita Blanchimont, Brave Story: New Traveler‘s Tatsuya, The Bouncer‘s Leann Caldwell, Disgaea 2‘s Rozalin and Taro, Front Mission 4‘s Ines Torres, GrimGrimoire‘s Lillet Blan, Neverwinter Nights‘ Aribeth, Soul Calibur II-IV‘s Chai Xianghua, Star Ocean: Till the End of Time‘s Nel Zelpher, Tales of Vesperia‘s Karol Kapel, Wild ARMs 4‘s Raquel Applegate and Wild ARMs 5‘s Rebecca Streisand.

She also does anime voice acting, and has voiced: Bleach‘s Yoruichi Shihouin, Tatsuki Arisawa and Ururu Tsumugiya, Cowboy Bebop‘s Faye Valentine, TK Takaishi in Digimon Adventure and Digimon: The Movie, Fushigu Yuugi‘s Yui Hongo, Lucky Star‘s Konata Izumi, Magic Knight Rayearth‘s Umi Ryuuzaki, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya‘s Haruhi Suzumiya, Sakura Wars: The Movie‘s Sakura Shinguji, Viewtiful Joe‘s Sprocket and Wild ARMs‘ Loretta Oratorio.

10. Yuri Lowenthal

In games he provided the voice for: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night‘s Alucard, Destroy All Humans 2‘s Dr. Go, FFIV DS‘ Cecil Harvey, the announcer for Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, Sasuke Uchiha in the Naruto games, Odin Sphere‘s Cornelius, Riviera: The Promised Land‘s Ein, Persona 3‘s main character, Ryoji and Pharos, Persona 4‘s Yosuke Hanamura, Suikoden V‘s Kyle, Tales of the Abyss and Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology‘s Luke fan Fabre/Asch, Trauma Center‘s Derek Stiles, Wild ARMs 4‘s Arnaud G. Vasquez, Wild ARMs 5‘s Dean Stark and Xenosaga III‘s Kevin Winnicot.

He also does cartoon and anime voice acting, and has voiced: Ben 10: Alien Force‘s Ben Tennyson and Alien X, Bleach‘s Keigo Asano, Blue Dragon‘s Shu, Naruto‘s Sasuke Uchiha, The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie‘s Prince Alexander and Saiyuki Reload & Gunlock‘s Goku
Site [The Internet Movie Database] Site [CrystalAcids.com] Site [Anime News Network Encyclopedia]

Banjo Kazooie, Tooie on their way to Xbox Live

Destructoid has the scoop on the Xbox Live Arcade (XBLA) versions of beloved Nintendo 64 platformer Banjo-Kazooie and it’s sequel, Banjo-Tooie. Banjo-Kazooie, which comes free with a pre-order of the upcoming Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, will be available to download on November 26, 2008, shortly after the 360 game launches.

Tooie will be coming at some point in 2009 - though it would behoove MS to get it out fairly soon, in order to catch the presumptive BK tidal wave. Both games will go for 1200 MS points.

Confession time - Banjo-Kazooie is one of my favorite platformers ever. Really, ever. In my humble little opinion, it’s right up there with some of Mario‘s finest adventures. It just had so much atmosphere and real variety to the gameplay, and I really liked the progression of abilities and Mumbo “transformations”. I loved the sequel too, but like D-toid writer Chad Concelmo, I think it was perhaps a little too ambitious for its own good. Still loved it though.

Read [Destructoid]

Gamertell Review: Postal: The Movie on DVD

Title: Postal: The Movie
Price: $26.99 (DVD), $34.99 (Blu-Ray)
Release Date: August 26, 2008
Studio: Vivendi Entertainment
Rating: “Not Rated” (Blood, violence, mature humor, nudity, strong language and sexual themes).
Pros: Surprisingly decent cinematography and funny moments. Plenty of guest appearances and carnage. Ships with full version of Postal 2 videogame and includes Boll boxing matches as bonus feature.
Cons: Some really low points of humor. Not quite as shocking as promised or as bloody as expected but definitely not for kids.
Overall Score: One thumb up and one thumb down; 75/100; C; * * 1/2 out of five.

It’s a sad truth that games based on movies generally suck. Movies based on games, unfortunately, usually aren’t much better.

So, if you embrace the inevitable crapitude and give one of the most offensive video games to a filmmaker infamous for horrible game-to-big-screen adaptations, you should get a pile of putrid stupidity in the form of an entirely dismissible movie, right?

Well, not exactly.

Going, Going, Gone Postal

Filmmaker Uwe Boll, infamous for the craptastic big screen adaptations of games including Bloodrayne and Hitman, bought the rights to make Postal into a film that has been marketed as being, “Disgusting. Offensive. Stupid.” (No, really. It says so right on the box.)

Since the game does not really have a plot, Boll takes elements from Postal 2 and the overall offensive nature of both games as an excuse to joke about the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, gay love, cults, getting a job, midgets, cops, monkeys and Nazis. Kids get shot, a midget gets tossed and Dave Foley does an onscreen crotch scratching session. Sans pants. Full frontal.

The plot for the movie revolves around an unnamed man (Zack Ward) who cannot land a job and is kicked out of his house. In an effort to leave Paradise, AZ, he and his swarmy cult leader of an uncle Dave (Dave Foley) decide to steal penis-shaped Kritchy toys, stop a terrorist attack and evade angry mobs who mistake him as the guy who killed innocents at the local amusement park. With a band of gun-toting, scantily-clad ladies in tow, of course.

The movie includes tons of guns, lots of bodies and plenty of artificial bullet holes (I didn’t see anyone being beaten with their own arm, though). There are also plenty of semi-recognizable lesser actor appearances in the film with Foley, Ward and Verne Troyer (as himself) being the most noteworthy.

The DVD release also includes a Boll commentary track, all of the “Raging Boll” boxing matches against critics and a commercial starring Troyer dressed as Indiana Jones. The full version of Postal 2 is also includes on its own disc.

Boll You Over?

Fat jokes, Nazi jokes, cop jokes, handicapped jokes. Nothing is sacred here. It’s all done very tongue-in-cheek with Boll himself portraying himself as the game-destroying, Nazi-ish filmmaker everyone claims him to be. And it’s actually funny.

Postal has some surprisingly decent cinematography especially for the first half hour of the movie which has a slightly washed out look that gives it a little artistic a hyper-realism. After that it goes back into a more standard movie appearance but by then you’ve seen a Foley’s penis, putting a proper end to any remaining realism.

Ward offers a decent performance demonstrating that, despite working with Boll on several projects, he hasn’t lost his acting chops or humorous sarcastic humor since Titus was canceled.

This is certainly not the worst or even the most disturbing movie I have ever seen. In fact, many scenes include enough self-mockery that they will actually elicit laughs. Boll being beaten down by Postal’s game producer for “ruining his game” (to which Boll perfectly responds, “I hate video games") may even make you applaud.

Surprisingly, Postal‘s not nearly quite as outlandish as it’s been promoted since all of the shocking elements are tempered with just enough awkward humor to make those moments seem comically OK. A plane crashing into a skyscraper? Not really the terrorist pilots’ faults. A bloody squib exploding from a little girl being gunned down at an amusement park? Strangely laughable. A nearly perfect George W. Bush-a-like skipping into the sunset with Osama Bin Ladin? Halarious. Foley scratching on screen and them immediately sitting on the toilet? A certainly disturbing moment that will elicit either an awkward hand-over-face giggle of disgust or a drunken knee slap.

Lightly Lick This Stamp

I’ve seen worse schlock airing on HBO at 2 a.m. with much more recognizable actors (nay, celebrities) and, very likely, bigger budgets. Postal is brainless and silly-stupid and it never denies it. Put your Boll hate aside for a few days, get a room full of friends over, serve enough alcohol and this will probably be *gasp* enjoyed.

It’s self-deprecating and enough to keep the humor going, while not nearly as vile and bloody as you might expect. Offensive, sure, but it’s entirely tongue-in-cheeky intentional and, for much of the movie, it kinda works and earns a few bonus points.

Unless you really need to have Postal 2 on disc or are some type of Boll film collector, you can definitely get away with a weekend rental since you’ll probably not need to watch this more than once in your life (maybe twice if you’re too drunk or, er, unable to recall things, at the first pass).

Read [Postal: The Movie] Read [New York Times] Read [Twitch Film]